Weight loss is not something that I’ve blogged about before. There are many people who know me personally that read this blog, and it’s not a topic that I wanted to share. For some reason, blogging about what breastfeeding does to your body is easy for me but opening up about weight loss is too personal. I’ve decided that maybe if I’m more open about it, it might be an easier journey to be on. So here goes…
I was doing Weight Watchers online before I found out I was pregnant, and I was rocking it out. In that one month between when I started and when I saw those two pink lines, I had lost 10 pounds. Now I wish I had reached my goal before getting pregnant. I’m discovering that weight loss is substantially more difficult to attain after having a baby! While breastfeeding helped me lose the baby weight, my body is most certainly a different shape post-baby and I have a long way to go.
During my Couch to 5k runs and my recent Mamavation Two Week Challenge that I just completed, I’ve thought long and hard about how I got here. Yeah, yeah, I know how babies are made. 
But how did I get to this place of having weight to lose? Warning: I’m about to put myself out there emotionally.
I realized that about four years ago, I was at a place in my life and at a weight where I was completely comfortable with my body. Then I was blindsided by an experience with domestic violence with someone who was once very close to me. It put my life into such an emotional tailspin that, looking back, I don’t know how my relationship with Hubster (which was then quite new) survived it (I am eternally grateful for how my wonderful Hubster handled that situation and refused to give up on me). I didn’t think I’d be able to trust anyone again. I barely functioned in my college classes, or in my daily life. That was the time when I started to gain weight.
I feel like that period of time was so very long ago, but in reality it’s not. I rarely think about it; my mind still takes me to a dark place if I do. I think that, for me, weight loss is my one final step in emotional recovery. It’s the last step in taking back control over my life.
And thus begins my journey that began in June; but now I have an advantage of being more self-aware. Here’s to writing the next chapter of my life!
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